I was never that girl that dreamed of settling down with a picket fence, kids and sheets on the line. I wasn’t planning a white wedding, my honeymoon or children’s names. It’s just kinda happened, well I don’t have the picket fence but you know what I mean.
Motherhood the first time around was
unplanned a surprise and it’s been surprising me ever since. I never knew love before like the love that being a mother fills me with. From that first moment I knew I had a belly full of arms and legs, to when I first clapped eyes on his fleshy beautiful body all the way through to this day.
Today that first born son who taught me so much about love turns twenty one.
My baby is now a man. I grew him in my guts and now he’s a six foot four walking and talking man with a dodgy moustache and kind heart♥
Twenty one! So much can happen in twenty one years.
Like the nights we would spend alone together in darkness (and sometimes freezing cold) , his chubby hand wrapped around mine while he suckled. Even better were the times he would stroke my neck while he fed or when he would be so excited to feed he was like a little pig at the trough shaking his head from side to side and smacking his lips together.
Or the plane ride to Queensland before he was two, so excited and grown up with his backpack shaped like a puppy and a fist full of toy cars.
Or the afternoons spent making necklaces from macaroni dyed with food colouring, then proudly paraded on walks to the park. “Mummy, watch ME”.
This one, he always wanted Mum or Dad near him, with him, making and doing ALL the things.
Like cooking and
cleaning playing houses (handy like that) or making forts and playing shops.
He loved the outdoors, bike riding and playgrounds were his jam and whizzing down a flying fox at break neck speed made him equally excited, happy and ‘shit ya daks’ scared.
This was the kid we could take to cinema or fancy pants restaurants as a newborn, he was so bloody easy going. I always thought he was an old soul, like he had been here before and was pretty chillaxed about being back.
Praise and thanks to the universe for sending him to me…for trusting him to me.
For almost three years he made us a family of ‘three’ and then we made a playmate just for him, that’s right we added to our family and gave him a brother. The video of him meeting his brother for the very first time makes me cry every time I watch it, sooo much love and pride.
They haven’t always got on because little brothers can be annoying and as the years get on little brothers get the ‘easier’ ride, or so he thinks.
WE haven’t always got on because teenage sons know EVERYTHING! Oh, and we are so bloody alike it’s frightening.
Like we always need to have the last word, or be right or love hard and work harder.
He’s a wonderful human my firstborn.
We are now sitting back and watching him work and date, because you know, adult and everything!
He changed me. Having babies that grew into men changed me, I grew too and so did my heart.
I’m the luckiest girl to have him in my life, always teaching me and making me feel ALL the feels.
Happy birthday son, if you ever read this I love you further than to the moon and back but for goodness sake ditch the Mo!