It’s been a busy week great in some ways but also pretty awful, so much sadness and bad news…it got me thinking about Christmas and how expectation and perspective interact at this time of year. I receive many messages from people who are going through cancer, have just been diagnosed or messages from families of readers after they pass.
On one hand I love to help, feel blessed that these people trust me…but on the other hand it’s not always easy especially when my life is ticking along smoothly, so much guilt attached.
This week has been no exception with emails from a reader and her family looking for help and direction after a diagnosis. I also found out that one of my medical team has had some shitty health news and I have a friend who after a tough year has received the very worst news, her time is limited.
She’s a mum and a wife and cancer is so fuckin unkind! I’ve faced the doctor when he’s given us shocking percentages, had other scares that left me planning my funeral and wondering who to give my pretty teacups too…it’s an awful head space to be in. But my friend is brave and strong, she’s in a place of acceptance but it doesn’t take away her maternal urges to protect her children and the turmoil that brings.
It’s Christmas, a time when we spend weeks shopping, tapping our feet to carols, being jolly n nice but it got me thinking…what’s Christmas really like for you? Does this time of year send you a little crazy? Do you set unrealistic expectations or feel the pressure of work, friends and family?
I normally go a bit cray-cray at this time of year and get a bit stressed…uptight and overwhelmed. I think a lot of us do. The past couple of years I’ve learned to let shit go or in the words of one Miss Swift “shake it off”. This time of year can leave others feeling stretched emotionally and financially, flat, even depressed as they struggle with family….lack thereof and just the whole spirit of Christmas.
Being forced to spend time with relatives that you’d rather not, mourning or grieving the ones no longer here or dealing with the emotions of knowing this is your last ever christmas can take their toll. Christmas can stir up a whole lotta emotions in some people and if you are one of those people then please be kind to yourself, let go of expectation and reach out for help. On the flipside if you know someone who could do with a hand then lend yours. Say the words that need to be said and help those who need it.
Sometimes spreading Christmas cheer is hard, please remember though that Christmas is one day…24 hours, so don’t torment yourself with feelings of being inadequate or trying to live up to expectation. We ALL need to love more , reach out more and say more ALL year round.
– If family is fractured then surround yourself with friends.
– Let your friends know that you struggle at Christmas.
– Plan something for Christmas day, start your own tradition if you are alone or make sure to join in with friends and family.
– Remember, Christmas is one day that is hyped to the hilt around commercialism.
Life is short so say the words that need to be said and hug those that need it…and please, reach out if you need it.
Lifeline ph 13 11 14
Salvos Care Line ph 1300 363622
Til next time,