It’s been a busy week great in some ways but also pretty awful, so much sadness and bad news…it got me thinking about Christmas and how expectation and perspective interact at this time of year. I receive many messages from people who are going through cancer, have just been diagnosed or messages from families of readers after they pass.
On one hand I love to help, feel blessed that these people trust me…but on the other hand it’s not always easy especially when my life is ticking along smoothly, so much guilt attached.
This week has been no exception with emails from a reader and her family looking for help and direction after a diagnosis. I also found out that one of my medical team has had some shitty health news and I have a friend who after a tough year has received the very worst news, her time is limited.
She’s a mum and a wife and cancer is so fuckin unkind! I’ve faced the doctor when he’s given us shocking percentages, had other scares that left me planning my funeral and wondering who to give my pretty teacups too…it’s an awful head space to be in. But my friend is brave and strong, she’s in a place of acceptance but it doesn’t take away her maternal urges to protect her children and the turmoil that brings.
It’s Christmas, a time when we spend weeks shopping, tapping our feet to carols, being jolly n nice but it got me thinking…what’s Christmas really like for you? Does this time of year send you a little crazy? Do you set unrealistic expectations or feel the pressure of work, friends and family?
I normally go a bit cray-cray at this time of year and get a bit stressed…uptight and overwhelmed. I think a lot of us do. The past couple of years I’ve learned to let shit go or in the words of one Miss Swift “shake it off”. This time of year can leave others feeling stretched emotionally and financially, flat, even depressed as they struggle with family….lack thereof and just the whole spirit of Christmas.
Being forced to spend time with relatives that you’d rather not, mourning or grieving the ones no longer here or dealing with the emotions of knowing this is your last ever christmas can take their toll. Christmas can stir up a whole lotta emotions in some people and if you are one of those people then please be kind to yourself, let go of expectation and reach out for help. On the flipside if you know someone who could do with a hand then lend yours. Say the words that need to be said and help those who need it.
Sometimes spreading Christmas cheer is hard, please remember though that Christmas is one day…24 hours, so don’t torment yourself with feelings of being inadequate or trying to live up to expectation. We ALL need to love more , reach out more and say more ALL year round.
– If family is fractured then surround yourself with friends.
– Let your friends know that you struggle at Christmas.
– Plan something for Christmas day, start your own tradition if you are alone or make sure to join in with friends and family.
– Remember, Christmas is one day that is hyped to the hilt around commercialism.
Life is short so say the words that need to be said and hug those that need it…and please, reach out if you need it.
Lifeline ph 13 11 14
Salvos Care Line ph 1300 363622
Til next time,
Jen x
Val says
December 11, 2014 at 8:26 pma wonderful piece of writing
Jenni says
December 11, 2014 at 9:49 pmThankyou Val…feels better to have it out x
CIlla says
December 11, 2014 at 10:23 pmThankyou for this honest post x
Jenni says
December 11, 2014 at 11:03 pmThanks Cilla, I always feel better after I empty my head and write. J x
Bec @ Styled By Bec says
December 11, 2014 at 10:26 pmIt’s meant to be the most wonderful time of the year, and it is for many people, but for others it can be so hard. Perspective helps in these situations not to get hung up on stuff that really doesn’t matter. Life matters and living it fully and healthy is something a lot of us take for granted. Beautifully written and a much needed read for me tonight. x
Jenni says
December 11, 2014 at 11:02 pmOh Bec, you are spot on hun! Glad it helps x
Kathryn says
December 12, 2014 at 5:19 amI agree totally Jen. I think most of us put too much pressure on ourselves, all year but especially at Christmas. My heart goes out to your friend. Media conditions us into this thinking of a perfect Christmas, happy perfect families sitting around groaning tables of five star food, perfect Myer type trees surrounded by beautifully wrapped expensive presents. Great post x
Jenni says
December 12, 2014 at 7:55 amVery true Kathryn, we just all need to ease up a little and remember to think of others xx
Ann Hole says
December 13, 2014 at 12:01 pmSo love this time of year. Adore the decorations, the shopping, the entertaining, the carols, a church service, most people seem to be a little nicer..and I feel quite “let down” once it is over.
I do miss my parents especially so at this time of year, but love that my own family are able to be together and spend a few days doing all family things.
As you say Jen, it is only one day of the year and not to put so much pressure on ourselves and I do wish folk were a little kinder to each other through out the whole year, not just at Christmas time.
Loved reading this blog and the truth of it all, as I do realise, so many people don’t love it as I do..xx
Jenni says
December 13, 2014 at 12:20 pmThere’s elements I love ALOT Ann, those are what I will focus on. Wishing you a very merry Christmas! X
Sammie @ The Annoyed Thyroid says
December 13, 2014 at 10:59 pmI love Christmas, it feels such a happy time of year! I love the tree, the lights and the advent calendar! I love it all. But maybe I love it so much because our family are on the other side of the planet so we have no duties or responsibilities, except to ourselves to do whatever we please! You’re right, as happy as Christmas can make you, it can also drive you crazy! I’m sorry you’ve had bad/sad news this week but just remember, winter always turns to spring, it’s the law of the universe. Sending you a big hug xx
Jenni says
December 13, 2014 at 11:23 pmI love parts of it too Sammie, like trifle for breakfast, shopping for crazy stuff for my boys stockings and watching my dog go nuts opening his present and then relaxing in a pile of xmas wrap. I love carols and lights and lazy afternoon naps too 🙂 I did go a little crazy today shopping in the city…so many people, so much noise and no clue what to buy aarrgghhhh! You are right, the darkest hour has only 60 minutes and tomorrow is always brighter, thanks hun x
Barbe says
December 14, 2014 at 3:13 pmBeautiful piece Jen. Christmas is not all cheer, and happiness for everyone. I am lucky that it is for me and my family, and my wish is that it is like that for everyone.
xoxo
Jenni says
December 14, 2014 at 4:20 pmA beautiful wish Barbe. Merry Christmas Hun xx