Twenty years ago I held my firstborn son in my arms. It was love at first sight, in fact I loved him long before I met him and never realised how much I needed him.
I was a young Mum by today’s standards giving birth just a few weeks before I turned 24. I had never ever considered marriage or children until I met my Mister and a week after I let him hold my hand and cop a feel of my breasts we were sitting in his car on the esplanade in Hervey Bay talking baby names.
I wasn’t up the duff, we were just ‘in sync’ as we sat in the car eating ice creams (in a cone) watching the world pass by and getting to know each other. It was that day we both knew we would always be together. We were engaged five and a half months after meeting and 18 months later discovered I was expecting. Cue shotgun wedding, perfect as I never wanted to be a traditional bride!
I think we both needed this little boy more than we knew because we weren’t actively trying to prevent pregnancy and what do you know…that’s how you get preggers!
We have always lived our life with very little assistance or interference from outside forces and throughout my pregnancy we just got on with it while surrounded in our lovely bubble of bliss. It wasn’t all smooth sailing and 2 weeks overdue with a few false starts I was admitted to hospital to be induced. Several attempts, 36 hours of hard labour, then a c-section and I finally got to lay my gaze on the face of our boy.
Seeing his face…my face looking back at me, well it knocked the wind outa me. We knew we were having a boy thanks to technology and intuition but seeing him and how he looked like me was overwhelming. He was perfect, and HUGE.
After a horror hospital stay we packed up our bundle and tentatively set off home to our new life as parents. He was born on Tuesday night and the hospital let us take over and take him home on the Friday morning…how does that happen? No training just boom, here you go you are now parents see ya!
We muddled through and together we were a family…I had family.
Our boy was joined almost 3 years later by his brother, they originally had the same due date but the little brother got the easy entrance, early and in a private hospital…this one was smooth sailing and a natural delivery. When we saw these two brothers together, one brunette and one blonde we knew our family was complete. Our boys were the start of a whole new adventure.
Just two years old, look at those cheeks and chubby wubby hands!
A few months after this pic was taken a little brother was on his way.
The birthday boy is strong, and headstrong. We are soooooo similar which is why we end up in screaming matches but it always ends with him making a cuppa tea and a cheeky exchange and all is forgiven. He has great work ethics, is entrepreneurial, a people person and following his dream.
When he was young we thought he would be a statistician such was his love of sport. Later he wanted to be a journalist and for about ‘a minute’ he wanted to be a teacher. In his final years of high school he wanted to study sports science and become a sport talent scout.
As a mum it was pie in the sky dreams but we allowed him to follow his heart. Then I got cancer and the day I was having a mastectomy my sweet bundle of joy was sitting his year 12 exams…fuck, the guilt! I worried for the longest time about how I might have messed my kid up.
His school leaving score was in the 90’s and he started uni then stopped and followed his dream of becoming a famous DJ…not a vinyl spinning DJ but a club DJ. Today he works as a barman, gigs, makes music and has his own business in events and looks after bookings for other DJ’s. Today he turns 20…to say I’m proud of him is an understatement.
When kids are little they are so consuming. It’s all play dough, tea parties, story time, nursery rhymes and Lego. Then they hit school and its homework, readers, excursions, sport and friendships. High school brings a massive shift, primary school felt like a ‘loosening’ of the apron strings but high school was like someone ripped my apron from my body and ran off with it.
Twenty years ago my boy was in my arms, on my skin and I breathed in his sweet scent as I stroked his velvety hair. I was his world and he was mine but over time things change and we adjust our sails as new courses are set.
I love him… I like him and I can’t wait to watch as he continues to journey through life.
‘Happy Birthday’ to the boy who brought ‘joy unbridled’ into my life. Your heart beats in my heart and always will. I love you Joel x
Your Mum x
See that balloon and pregnancy stick with the romper in the first pic?…they are all originals. The outfit we brought him home in and pins used with nappies…and that balloon has stayed inflated exactly like that for 20 years!
Sharyn says
April 11, 2015 at 7:49 amA mothers love xoxo
Beautifully written Jen
Jenni says
April 11, 2015 at 11:25 amThankyou sharyn, I wuv him x
Maggie obst says
April 11, 2015 at 8:34 amLove for our Babies is such a wonderful love, there is no other like that love. Watching them grow and seek their own paths is something to treasure. They have many ups and downs but are always your love! But a Mothers love will travel that path for ever. Wishing your Son a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY
Jenni says
April 11, 2015 at 11:26 amThankyou Maggie, you never imagine it can go so quickly. He’s gigging all night so one big party for him tonight x
Jo says
April 11, 2015 at 9:05 amHave a wonderful birthday Master J!
Jenni, Congratulations to you & your Mister (who hasn’t changed at all) on raising these young generous, passionate and just nice young men.
Jenni says
April 11, 2015 at 11:32 amThanks Jo, I can’t believe how young we looked
Vicki | Style On V says
April 11, 2015 at 10:03 amA beautiful insight. Thank you Jenni for sharing. V x
Jenni says
April 11, 2015 at 11:27 amThanks Vicki, it’s great for me to reflect x
Paula says
April 11, 2015 at 10:13 amBeautifully written Hun, our babies sure do surprise us with the love we feel for them. Happy birthday Joel, I hope you have a fabulous day ! X
Jenni says
April 11, 2015 at 11:28 amThankyou Paula, we had chocolate mousse cake for breakfast!!!lets get this party started
June says
April 11, 2015 at 10:15 amWishing Jen’s number One baby the best *Birth* day ever.
LOVE is the most powerful force in the universe, with your Mother’s Love, nothing is impossible.
Jenni says
April 11, 2015 at 11:29 amThankyou June it’s been an awesome 20 years!
Kirrily says
April 11, 2015 at 10:21 amSuch a beautiful story. I hope I can let my son soar as graciously as you have. Happy birthday Joel – must be a top kid, sharing my birthday
Jenni says
April 11, 2015 at 11:28 amTop kid and a top friend you are. Happy birthday to you too…eat cake with a glass of bubbles!!
Raychael aka Mystery Case says
April 11, 2015 at 11:14 amAbsolutely gorgeous post, Jenni. Thanks for sharing.
Jenni says
April 11, 2015 at 11:31 amThanks Raychael, I loved remembering and writing it x
Mumma McD says
April 11, 2015 at 1:11 pmSuch awesome photos 🙂 Happy birthing day to you!!
Jenni says
April 11, 2015 at 1:29 pmThankyou, I had to get out the album I’d scrapbooked and ‘take photos of photos’
Kathryn says
April 11, 2015 at 4:31 pmThis is beautiful, and what lovely photos. You are so right in saying you loved him before you met him, I felt the same about my first born. Same thing, long labour then C-section. But when the nurses woke me enough to say ‘here is your baby’ I would have been able to pick him out from a thousand. I was 22, and he is 32 this year, with two little boys of his own with another on the way. Thanks Jen, I loved this post xx
Jenni says
April 11, 2015 at 6:29 pmI can’t wait to see grandkids…enjoy that special time xx
Antia says
April 11, 2015 at 4:38 pmBeautiful Jen. A Mother’s love, like no other love. My children are the best thing I’ve ever done…ups and downs and all. Excuse me while I get up for a tissue to wipe away a tear. Happy birthday Joel. Ax
Jenni says
April 11, 2015 at 6:30 pmThankyou Anita, our babies are a gift! I wrote this post in a cafe…tears flowing with nowhere to hide
Sammie @ The Annoyed Thyroid says
April 11, 2015 at 4:53 pmShucks, I think I have something in my eye! Your boy (now, man) is lucky to have you as his mumma! And I love how you have all those momentos, what magical memories!
Jenni says
April 11, 2015 at 6:32 pmThankyou Sam, on the day he was born my hubby bought the papers and current magazines…it was the Pamela Anderson gold edition phoar!!i I just looking in their baby boxes at the little momentos x
Gaye says
April 11, 2015 at 5:38 pmHAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!! Such a lovely post & I love the photos.
Tears here from me as well. Sons are so special. You have a Beautiful
family Jenni. GX
Jenni says
April 11, 2015 at 6:34 pmThankyou Gaye, tears were streaming when I wrote this (in a cafe)…good memories x
merilyn says
April 12, 2015 at 3:25 pmjust lovely jen!
your boy,s birthdays are very close!
that balloon is amazing! … enjoy celebrations!
love m:)X
Jenni says
April 13, 2015 at 2:38 pmYes I know Merilyn, next year will be 18 and 21…joint party for sure!
Luisa @ Looking for mama me says
April 13, 2015 at 11:02 amhow beautiful! I love the photo montage of your life with your son! I just wrote about my daughter turning 6 months, I cant wait for the next 20 years together 🙂 I absolutely agree that you love your baby before you even meet them. I didn’t understand this until I was a mum! I too hadn’t thought of motherhood until I met the one I wanted to share it with. I love you story, its so reflects my own.
Jenni says
April 13, 2015 at 2:39 pmIt goes quick Luisa take it all in and savour it. I wish I was blogging and journaling back then x
Karin @ Calm to Coniption says
April 13, 2015 at 2:25 pmBeautiful words Jen. When we walked out of the hospital with my first born it was so strange I giggled the whole way out. You just walk out with a baby…that’s yours…that depends completely on you for survival and you just walk out knowing nothing!
Jenni says
April 13, 2015 at 2:37 pmOMG Karin so true…we were pretty clueless too x
Nicole @ The Builders Wife says
April 13, 2015 at 2:26 pmOh I love this, so cute. Beautiful photos and a lovely post of heartfelt memories. xxx
Jenni says
April 13, 2015 at 2:40 pmThanks Nicole, my boys were born before digital technology so there’s not lots of photos, I’ve scrapbooked most of them.