So I’ve noticed there’s a whole movement out there, a movement that’s backed by a whole lotta plus size and curvy sistas. They are vocal…loud ‘n proud women who have decided that they don’t need to give a shit about standards. Yeah like beauty and fashion standards don’t freakin matter anymore.
Ummm, nope! NO! I’m not buying into it. Standards matter to me.
I can’t just throw on whatever the hell I like and call that fashion or styling. The same as designers can’t design shit and call that fashion. If that were true we would all wear sacks.
Designers (mostly) are trained at their craft, they know a thing or two about proportion, balance, texture and colour. Uhuh, because that stuff DOES matter.
I’m tired of how some women keep bellowing about how ‘hard done by’ they are when it comes to fashion and media. You know what? If you don’t freakin like it then change it but just take the aggression outa the equation. Go on, create change.
There’s plenty of awesome fashion out there, start buying it…support your designers and they will continue to grow. Get a little educated about style and fashion before you start tearing down an industry.
Stylists exist to ‘enhance’ a sista, not to tear them down. Bagging on styling and stylists isn’t cool, if they aren’t your cup of tea then don’t use them but in my experience they are ‘confidence givers’. Stylists actually help ladies see the wood for the trees when it comes to their wardrobes and shopping. They save a woman money, make choices easier and give confidence back to women who may have lost it…or have never had it.
You know what if we colour our hair, get fake nails, wear makeup and change the colour of our skin with foundation then it’s perfectly fine to use smoke n mirrors when it comes to dressing. OK!
If I want to enhance what I’m loving about my body and distract from certain body features then that’s ok…stop telling me it’s not ok…OK!
I’m tired of the plus size/curvy debate…if you really don’t like the terms then hey here’s an idea…just don’t use them.
‘Plus size’ was a term given to the modelling industry for runway shows, like all words they evolve and it stuck for mainstream women. Whatevs! Let’s remember that the term opened up a whole industry and created inclusion in design and retail. Is it perfect? Not yet but we are making strides in the right direction.
Oh and while I have my fancy ranty pants on…REAL WOMEN…geez, pleeze! We are ALL real women!! Unless you are made up of more plastic than human DNA (I reckon there’s a few out there) then yup…real women!
Really ladies, let’s act a bit more grown up, have more love in our hearts and support a sista.
I don’t care if you are a size 6 or size 26, if you have a kind heart, can make me laugh and are mostly happy in your own skin then we are gonna get along just fine.
Just don’t get all aggressive and nasty about sizing and labelling. Don’t tell me I can’t ‘hide’ my fat guts when I wanna feel better about myself. If I want to use the term ‘flatter’ then I’m going to because there is nothing wrong with it.
If I can wear plastic nails and red lipstick then I’m sure as hell not gonna feel ashamed of drawing attention to my plastic boobs instead of my fat guts!
Ok, as you were. Now go love yourself, eat cake and wear shape wear…or not. Do whatever the hell you want, just be nice.
lauren says
April 13, 2015 at 7:44 pmJen i want to run and give you a big hug!!
Love everything you have to say today!!
LOVE!!!! Xo
Jenni says
April 13, 2015 at 7:48 pmLauren I need that hug today…thanks sista!
kim says
April 13, 2015 at 8:01 pmwoo hoo. … you go Jenny. . Well said
Jenni says
April 13, 2015 at 8:10 pmThanks Kim, enough is enough hey
Shereen says
April 13, 2015 at 8:26 pmOMFG I hear ya loud and clear sista!! I hate the quadruple standards that are out there… Take pride In yourself… The way you look the way you do your hair and the way you dress- it’s the pride of knowing I made an effort and I look good that gives me confidence. And I’m a size 16, and a stylist and a fashion designer… Everything you said was spot on!!! Stop shaming and start complimenting!! You rock!
Jenni says
April 13, 2015 at 8:31 pmThanks Shereen, women need to be accountable and they need to lift each other x
Michelle Pepi says
April 13, 2015 at 8:59 pmLove! Love! Love! Perfectly said!
Jenni says
April 13, 2015 at 9:03 pmThanks Michelle x
Barbe says
April 13, 2015 at 9:09 pmA -fucking-MEN X
Jenni says
April 13, 2015 at 9:39 pmHaha,
Ann says
April 13, 2015 at 9:23 pmOh My God, so well said Jen..love this post.
I consider I do take care of my appearance, with having my hair coloured and cut every 6 weeks, buy nice clothes and shoes to enhance my shape {size 18}, wear make up..but was told by a “friend”, if I really did take care of myself, i’d be thin..lol..really!! I couldn’t believe it..no need to say I don’t bother with her anymore..lol..xx
Jenni says
April 13, 2015 at 9:41 pmOh WOW!! What an awful and mean thing for that woman to say! There’s some baggage you don’t need hey!!
BEv | iris maYstyle says
April 13, 2015 at 10:06 pmThank the lord for you Jenni! Seriously, why can’t everyone just love each other? Who cares if we gain a couple of kilo’s & rely on our shapewear for a touch of confidence. Who cares what label suits us best today.,,or if tomorrow we choose a different one. Really? Where is the LOVE?
Ps. I LOVE YOU xx
Jenni says
April 13, 2015 at 10:25 pm“Or if tomorrow we choose a different one “…YES!! I love you too Bev x
Lisa mckenzie says
April 14, 2015 at 6:41 amgreat post Jenni,so true it’s not the number on your outfit it’s how you wear it Xx
Jenni says
April 14, 2015 at 6:47 amThat’s right Lisa, I think we actually ‘label’ ourselves sometimes and carry extra baggage (chip on the shoulder) that just isn’t necessary. I always find that no matter what your weight, if you have a glowing smile and a kind heart I just don’t see the weight…I see the person.
Kirrily says
April 14, 2015 at 7:29 amLove your fancy rant pants
Jenni says
April 14, 2015 at 8:18 amMe too Kirrily, every girl should own some
merilyn says
April 14, 2015 at 8:33 ammissed this post yesterday … DON’T KNOW HOW! gorgeous jen!
go girls have your say in your own way!
yes, empowerment is what we all want!
lots of love m:)X
Jenni says
April 14, 2015 at 8:59 amI didn’t put it up until last night M, thanks x
Melissa {Suger} says
April 14, 2015 at 9:18 amMorning Jen! A couple of my readers sent me the link to your post over night, thanks for the read. Oh my goodness there’s lots to see and lots to weigh in on. So, I’m going to do that! Fun.
I’ve written about the real women thing before, ugh, I agree, a real woman is someone identifies as woman, full stop. At the time I said someone who has a vagina but that’s negotiable and someone said that wasn’t overly inclusive of those who identify as female but don’t have one. I agree now. That person changed my mind. Good on them!
The eff’ing of beauty standards, which I assume you are referring too, for me isn’t about saying no I won’t make an effort or take pride in my appearance, it’s about saying that I refuse to be held up to an ideal that doesn’t serve me. I think fake nails, boobs, hair dye, short shorts, midi skirts or whatever, if it’s your thing it should be your thing. I think women should be mindful that for generations we have been programmed to believe that our worth is measured by our beauty, looks etc. Sometimes it takes saying eff you to really get past that and chose for ourselves. I know it did for me.
Flattering is also one of those words that can just rub people the wrong way. I personally steer away from the term flattering. But I’m not a stylist, so it doesn’t really come up in conversation for me, but I do. Flattering to me is every outfit I’ve ever worn that somehow tricks the person look into thinking I’m smaller, shapelier, narrower than I am. And sure, that’s a game I’m happy to play. But as the sole outcome goal of an outfit, no thank you.
By that I am 100% behind someone wearing what they want, when they want. I don’t even care about their motives. I care when people step into my space and tell me that this or that would’ve been more flattering or slimming on me when that’s about 99 on a scale of 1 to 100 in outfit goals for me. Live and let is my aim. And sometimes I suck at it. Sometimes other people suck at it too.
And you know what ALWAYS helps around topics like this? Conversation. Which according to my extensive reply, you’ve done beautifully. Haha. Thanks for the floor to comment that I have obviously taken some liberty with. Haha.
Jenni says
April 14, 2015 at 9:38 amHi Melissa thanks for popping in and sharing. I too am all for women being comfortable in their own skin, comfortable enough to be able to wear what they like, but truth is loads of women aren’t and do require guidance and lifting.
Flattering to me is about making the most of what we have, wearing clothes that make us feel amazing and confident because at times an outfit can make all the difference to how high we hold our heads. Of course there’s more to self esteem and self confidence than what we wear it truly starts in the inside but sometimes it’s baby steps. I never get dressed (or dress others) just around my figure, my mood, personality, and vibe play a part too. It’s a complex thing sometimes.
Thanks for weighing in on the conversation.
Ingrid @ fabulous and fun life says
April 14, 2015 at 9:43 amWell ranted and written Jen! I totally agree!
Jenni says
April 14, 2015 at 9:48 amThanks Ingrid, I’m tired of being shamed for using certain terms or not being curvy enough…or too curvy. Women just need to support each other x
Sammie @ The Annoyed Thyroid says
April 14, 2015 at 4:48 pmIt’s not the size of the clothes, it’s the way you wear them that counts. I think you nailed it, it’s all about the love in our hearts and being happy in our own skin. That’s the bare bones of it!
Jenni says
April 14, 2015 at 5:23 pmThanks Sammie, the psychology of dressing is a complex thing…it’s hard for women to break down walls they’ve spent years building for self protection, women have barriers for lots of reasons and in my experience it’s has less to do with societal expectations and more to do with self perception…dressing is just one part of the bigger picture to self acceptance x
Zoe from A Quirky Bird says
April 15, 2015 at 11:54 pmOh Jenni I love your words and their truth. ××
Jenni says
April 16, 2015 at 7:27 amOh thanks Zoe x