At this time of year many of us start to make new year resolutions (not me) and get on the diet and gym bandwagon. The year is fresh and it feels like the perfect time to start…a bit like saying “I’ll start a diet…on Monday”. We’ve all been there haven’t we?
But what’s so special about the new year? Why do we wait until then to treat ourselves a little better? Why do we mix up a diet and exercise venture with New Years resolutions? Just to add some pressure to the mix LOL
I finished chemo in May 2013, radiotherapy finished by late July and I had my port removed in August the same year. At the end of all the chemo and 5 surgeries I was left bloated, broken and in need of repair. By the end of it all I was 136kg and riddled with bone and joint pain, even putting on my shoes was an effort. Throughout treatment I did the best I could to get me through, looking back I would have changed a few things.
I should have tried to eat a little better but at the time what I put in my mouth depended on how chemo made me feel…wether I had mouth ulcers, metallic taste or was feeling pukey. I ate a lot of consolatory cake throughout treatment and Tuesday nights when chemo kicked in and I felt like my cheekbones were being torn from my face. I combated the pain and metallic taste with a huge bag of cheese supreme Doritos…sometimes 2 bags!
My last chemo…where is my chin?!
I popped sugary mentos to clear my mouth of the metal taste that lingered from treatment and carbs were my best friend. Eating out became almost a daily thing and I wasn’t shy about what I ordered, chemo mornings always consisted of a coffee, bacon and egg sandwich and a sweet treat. Any wonder I gained weight!
The weight gain wasn’t all down to what I put in my mouth but also to being so immobile and medications like steroids. I can pretty much pick a chemo patient by the steroid bloat and round face 🙂
As treatment drew to and end I started to think about a future, something I hadn’t really concentrated on as we were just trying to survive. I recognised that the doctors and hospital system had spent a lot of time and money keeping me alive, they had done their bit and now it was up to me, I had to play my part too.
I needed to shape up, get in tune with my body and keep it going for years to come.
Two weeks after finishing chemo we went to Sydney
Check out my ankles!
But where do you start when you come out the other side and can’t even recognise yourself in the mirror?
I still had 8 weeks of chemo to go, no brows, lashes, hair and fat…he still loved me.
Look at my arse and gut!
My body was so inflamed, tight and heavy and when I saw the number on the scale it seemed impossible to come back from that.
I guess the silver lining was that I didn’t concentrate on ‘the number’, it wasn’t about losing weight and getting skinny it was about ‘Wellness’, so that’s the word I used when thinking or talking about my weight and body.
I came out of treatment and fell in love with my body for what it had done, what it got me through and as it came back to life in the weeks and months following treatment I was so freakin grateful.
Every hair that grew back, colour coming back into my skin and eyes, being able to stretch a little more, walk a little farther, they were all fist pump moments. I had no real body image issues as I recognised they were such a boring waste of energy and time. Time is extremely precious to me theses days and wasting it hating on myself isn’t something I do. Now it was time to refuel my my body, re energise and listen to my body.
It’s funny how everyone has a cure for cancer and loves to tell me about it LOL, they also love to tell me about their quick fix weight loss plans, yup every week people would try to get me involved in whatever they were spruiking, even strangers approached me. Shit I must have looked real bad!
I didn’t want a quick fix so I started out doing green juice and eating better. I still wasn’t eating great but I had introduced goodness back into my diet and was taking more steps in my day.
This isn’t going to be a quick fix plan, I would stumble more than once but I learnt some great lessons along the way. Stay tuned.
Kirrily says
January 20, 2015 at 8:39 amand what a change you’ve made – inspirational!
Jenni says
January 20, 2015 at 9:17 amThanks Kirrily, it’s been a bumpy ride but I’m getting there xx
merilyn says
January 20, 2015 at 9:08 amas I keep saying! you are one amazing woman jen!
you are definitely on the right track! and looking great now!
inspirational for sure! love m:)X
Jenni says
January 20, 2015 at 9:17 amThanks Merilyn, life is treating me well x
Ann says
January 20, 2015 at 9:18 amyou still looked beautiful to me in your photos..but looking more beautiful now. You are a true inspiration for so many xx
Jenni says
January 20, 2015 at 4:45 pmOh thank you Ann xx
magda says
January 20, 2015 at 11:48 amCancer is a nasty, nasty bitch that I wouldn’t wish on anybody but I cant help be lifted up by your inspiring story, Jenni.
As I sit at work typing this, stressing about difficult situations and even more difficult people, questioning my ability to deal with the constant barrage of problems work throws at me, your post reminds me of the important things in life, our health, the love of our family and an acceptance of who we are and all the good things about us.
xx m
Jenni says
January 20, 2015 at 4:47 pmYes Madgda, cancer is a cow but she gifted me perspective for which I’m grateful xx
Val says
January 20, 2015 at 6:19 pmGo you !! What a tale of guts and self belief !! I don’t know you but wow,…….well done..val
Jenni says
January 20, 2015 at 6:49 pmThanks Val for reading…I’m a sharer so you’ll definitely get to know me through my blog x
Gaye says
January 20, 2015 at 6:37 pmJenni such powerful writing. You truly look & are amazing. Gaye x
Jenni says
January 20, 2015 at 6:50 pmThanks so much Gaye, I’ll have more of my wellness journey next week xx
Lisa says
January 20, 2015 at 6:43 pmLove reading your blog posts, you’re so inspiring! xox
Jenni says
January 20, 2015 at 6:51 pmThanks so much Lisa, if I inspire you then that fills my heart with light x
Danielle says
January 20, 2015 at 7:00 pmJenni, to fight cancer and then make the decision to get back up and change your lifestyle takes a huge amount of determination.
You are amazing!!
I will be following your journey with keen interest. I’m battling Chronic Fatigue and starting to win.
I need inspiration from a real woman who doesn’t sugar coat the crappy stuff, thanks for sharing xxx
Jenni says
January 20, 2015 at 7:38 pmYay for winning Danielle!! I’m not willy wonks so no sugar coating from me LOL. X
Maggie Obst says
January 20, 2015 at 7:17 pmJenni I have just read your blog and can say that your approach is so commendable. Well done and be proud of yourself. We all love youxxxx
Jenni says
January 20, 2015 at 7:40 pmMaggie I’m so blessed to have a wonderful community with Styling Curvy, you’re all so nice and supportive which helps me to be able share. Thank you x
Jen Ryan says
January 20, 2015 at 7:37 pmOh wow tears in my eyes…I so needed to read this….thank you sweet gal for sharing…..Im 12mths post surgery that has shaken me (nearly killed me) and have just started to get the healthy back in me too….every word resonates with me….putting on nearly 30kgs stinks but fighting back..thanks for the inspiration. ♡♡♡
Jenni says
January 20, 2015 at 7:54 pmThanks Jen, I wrote about this because I don’t want anyone to feel helpless or defeated…there is a way back! There may be detours or speed umps but there’s a way back…to be better than ever! Xx
Sammie @ The Annoyed Thyroid says
January 20, 2015 at 9:39 pmYou’re so right, it’s not about weight it’s about wellness. After my surgery and radiation, I wanted to worry less about losing weight and more about keeping healthy and out of hospital. I too discovered a love of green juice, looks as though great minds drink alike! I’m loving the look of those ingredients, my favourite combos! You are one inspiring lady!
Jenni says
January 20, 2015 at 11:42 pmThanks Sammy, you my friend are totally rad and inspiring too! Xx
Fleur says
January 21, 2015 at 12:49 pmBeautiful read. I find your comments real and give me the get up and go that I need right now. No one can know what you have been through unless they have traveled a similar journey. But putting it into words can give us all an idea. I’m wanting to get up and go right now but limited to movement. Just doing my hair is a huge effort. But I love seeing your Instagram posts. I know things will get better. You look so amazing now that you have been down that journey. I’m sure you have always been that amazing person, it just now more people know about you. Well done. I hope one day I run into you in the shops somewhere…….could be expensive….
Jenni says
January 21, 2015 at 1:06 pmThanks Fleur, are you going through treatment? Whatever it is things can get better, sometimes it doesn’t feel like it but I’ve been there and it can. If you ever see me out and about just say ‘hi’ 🙂 take care x
Karen says
January 21, 2015 at 2:25 pmWell done – you rock girl.
If you focus on health, and what a food is doing for you, helping or hindering and listen to your
the weight will come off. You said it all beautifully.
Health and Happiness
Love and Light
x
Jenni says
January 21, 2015 at 2:41 pmSo true, learning how food affects your body is key x
Jess - A Little Part of the World says
January 21, 2015 at 9:56 pmI love your outlook on life. Good on you for making the changes you needed to and wanted to make. Inspirational!! Jx
Jenni says
January 21, 2015 at 10:34 pmThanks Jess, it was a process and I’m loving life x
helen says
January 22, 2015 at 7:50 amBlessings to you for sharing.
Jenni says
January 22, 2015 at 8:14 amThanks Helen, I do like to chat xx
Jenni says
January 22, 2015 at 2:53 pmThanks Helen, have a fabulous day x
Belinda says
January 26, 2015 at 5:55 pmWow, just wow.
I’m a newbie here and just wanted to say you have a new fan.
CAn’t wait to read more about your journey to wellness.
Thanks for the inspo.
B
Jenni says
January 26, 2015 at 7:01 pmHI Belinda, thanks for introducing yourself. It’s been a rocky road getting back to wellness and I’ve tried lots of things but I’m getting there. Next instalment soon. x
Maddi says
February 8, 2015 at 1:35 pmFar out woman, you are seriously AMAZING!!!!! You are such an inspiration!!!! Wow!!! I am only just beginning the wellness, weightloss journey, and seeing how far you’ve come, and how much you’ve achieved, has really given me a push!!! Xxxx
Jenni says
February 8, 2015 at 7:28 pmBravo Maddi, it starts with one step…small changes. Go you! X