A couple of weeks ago my baby turned 17…I still remember clearly the moment he entered the world. I held him as my doctor gently rubbed my arm, I was grinning from ear to ear exclaiming…’it’s a baby, I had a baby’!
He was a Mummy’s boy who had a deep voice, cheeky eyes, white blonde hair and a shrill girly shriek when things didn’t go his way. He went at full steam until he dropped, often falling asleep in his dinner with a car curled in the palm of his hand. He was introverted but happy in his own company and it took him a few years to get the hang of and enjoy school.
He’s an animal lover, likes the finer things in life, doesn’t have a mean bone in his body and always makes me a cuppa when he sees me a bit frazzled. He’s a great son.
Teenage boys are funny humans, they love but they also leave for a while.
Not physically but emotionally, they need their space and can become absent…well my two do. Having a mum with cancer wasn’t easy for either of my boys, especially my younger one. I wanted to punch cancer for what it did to my boys. Cancer and what my boys saw…it changed them forever, some for the better but like me they carry scars too.
These days I’m so much more relaxed in my parenting, it’s their life to lead and they need to feel in control and happy. I’ve had times that I’ve missed my boys while they’ve been on their teenage ride but every now and then they come back….join in and let me in.
It’s always a gift when they choose to spend time with us. Today was the making of a beautiful day, a day that filled me up and settled my heart. A day of memories that will always be with me.
We headed to ‘Meadows Country Fair’ in the Adelaide hills, a good opportunity for Master 17 to have some driving practice.
Country fairs are something we enjoy and look forward to, my Mister loves looking at the secondhand stalls and is partial to a warm donut, yes that’s him below. I’m free to inconspicuously roam, there’s doilies, knitting nannas, long lineups to the loo(see pic), home baked goods, clever crafty types and people…everywhere!
Some in their finest, some just rolled off the farm and others stretching their fashion wings…testing trends and creativity. I can pick the teens who will bust out of their small town and head to the city lights. I was one of those small town girls with city lights in her eyes.
We wandered and watched overtired children with their equally overtired parents, chocolate lips the giveaway a big day of Easter celebrations had been had.
Teen lovers holding hands and kicking the dirt as they flashed each other smiles and shared fairy floss.
There was no mistaking the locals, huddled together nattering over a cuppa and cake. As I passed I nodded and smiled indicating my thanks to them for welcoming us into their little town. Country folk are pretty fabulous like that, no judgement just welcoming arms and smiles. They are also freakin awesome jam makers, every single time!
After the fair we headed for pie territory,..the bakery where I had a pie with the best pastry ever!
The son joined in some photos and giggled as he posed and I laughed at how we coordinated with the wall behind us. My heart breathed a sigh of relief as I caught a glimpse of the son who has been absent for a while. He’s been busy ‘being a teenager’ and finding his way but hearing his giggle today I realized… he’s been here all along.
I worried a lot about my boys throughout treatment and beyond but they’re doing fine, they are doing just fine.
Yup I laughed so hard at his cheeky gesture my guts hung out!
Now this happy hearted Mumma needs a cuppa.
How’s your Easter been? Tell me what’s made your heart smile.
erin says
April 6, 2015 at 7:36 amSuch a lovely reflection Jenni! Easter is a bit of a non event for us. I’m off to visit some family tomorrow as my Nan isn’t well but otherwise I stayed home, cooked, cleaned, organised, had a crafternoon and a girls night! xx
Jenni says
April 6, 2015 at 8:02 amA crafternoon…sounds perfect Erin! We don’t do much over Easter either…lots of rating and relaxing x
Shell Parsons says
April 6, 2015 at 7:38 amHi Jenni, Loved your post and all the gorgeous pics of you and your boy. My friends that have boys all say the same thing, boys will share what they want, when they want with you. I have two girls, just turned 18 and 14 and compared to boys they are way more forthcoming with what they are feeling. Sometimes this is great, sometimes when they are hormonal and moody, I wish they were a bit more like boys:-) It’s just great being able to watch them blossom and find their way in the world. It is hard to let them go and start doing grown up things (like heading into nightclubs and the like-yikes!!) but we have given them the foundation to make good decisions and all we can do is be by their side when they need us. The past few months the dining table has been swallowed up by the detritus of life and as a result, dinner has been on the lounge, in front of the tv. Sometimes one daughter would be in the tv room at the front of the house watching something different. On Saturday we had our dear friends over for our traditional Easter brunch and egg hunt (their son is 18 too) which we have been doing since the kids were 1. So I had cleared the table in preparation so on Friday, Saturday and Sunday night ALL four of us had dinner together at the dining table. The tv was off. The conversation and giggles flowed. It was brilliant. I felt so connected. Something so simple but so precious. Now I just need to stop the table becoming the dumping ground for everyone’s stuff so we can get back to the magic of sharing the evening meal together. Happy Easter.x
Jenni says
April 6, 2015 at 8:00 amYou are so right Shell, a connected dinner at the table can do wonders. In fact we enjoyed one this week too, our eldest son works crazy hours so we almost never get to sit at the table as a foursome. How cute that your egg hunt tradition is still going. X
Ann says
April 6, 2015 at 9:08 amaaww Jen, a beautifully written piece..Full of love and admiration, not only for your sons, but for life. xx
Jenni says
April 6, 2015 at 9:22 amThanks Ann I do wuv em x
Paula says
April 6, 2015 at 10:35 amLoved reading this, bought a smile to my face & made me realise it will be all ok. Hugs xxx
Jenni says
April 6, 2015 at 10:48 amIt sure will Paula and for you too x
bev | Iris May style says
April 6, 2015 at 10:41 amWhat a lovely insight to your boy and the love you share. Just beautiful xx
Jenni says
April 6, 2015 at 10:49 amThanks Bev, isn’t writing a wonderful thing to leave behind x
Fleur @ Our urban Box says
April 6, 2015 at 11:16 amOh Jen, I heart this post so so so much!! I often wonder when my boy will leave me and find his own way. I mean he is only 5 so he clearly needs me now, but at what age will he head off on his own journey? I hope he finds his way back to me occasionally. I can’t imagine how hard your cancer would have been on the boys, being teenagers. Your post is so honest, thank you for sharing.
Our easter was a non event really. All the family are away, friends had plans with their families so we just hung at home and stuffed our face with chocolate. I tried to convince the hubby to go to a car show in a town near by for something to do but he wasn’t keen!
Jenni says
April 6, 2015 at 12:32 pmThanks Fleur, 5 is a beautiful age! We’ve enjoyed lots of sloth like behavior…and loved it!
Sammie @ The Annoyed Thyroid says
April 6, 2015 at 1:07 pmLove this post, Jen. It looks like such a fun day! You’re so right cancer changes everything, but it brings you together and makes you stronger, and you, your mister and your boys are testament to that! Our Easter was a Big Chillax. Lots of wining, dining, fun with friends and sofa surfing. I wish long weekends could last forever xx
Jenni says
April 6, 2015 at 4:27 pmOh I wish they could too Sam, I’m in a little comfort bubble of food n relaxing! X
Lisa mckenzie says
April 6, 2015 at 1:50 pmSuch a lovely post Jenni and so very very true,you lose boys for a while but they always come back to where they belong Xx
Jenni says
April 6, 2015 at 4:26 pmThank goodness hey Lisa x
merilyn says
April 6, 2015 at 2:12 pmyou write so beautifully jen!
capturing the feelings is precious for healing too!
he looks pretty connected to you!
and I bet you’ve been a gorgeous, warm mother!
love m:)X
Jenni says
April 6, 2015 at 4:25 pmThanks Merilyn, there’s times I’d like a ‘do over’ but I’ve done pretty good by them.
Magda says
April 6, 2015 at 9:33 pmAwesome Easter spent in Sydney. And the best part was our surly pre/-teen passed on the electronic games and played hangman and I-spy with us over lunch and dinner. It was a real treat for us to have such precious family time together 🙂
Jenni says
April 7, 2015 at 6:59 amAhhh a plugged into life teen is always great Magda x
magda says
April 7, 2015 at 8:57 amHaha, I love that comment Jenni but in all honesty I would have to say he’s a part-time plugged into life teen. The rest of the time he’s plugged into his devices LOL.
Gaye says
April 6, 2015 at 11:28 pmAww Jenni, such a lovely post & so is your boy!! Our boy is now 24, very successful in his career & a fantastic Dad. He is just so delightful, there is something so special about sons. How lucky are we. As for Easter in our house, a family picnic & way to much chocolate.
Jenni says
April 7, 2015 at 7:01 amA picnic sounds perfect Gaye x
Gaye says
April 6, 2015 at 11:46 pmJenni I meant to also add how Gorgeous your looking and so happy!!
Jenni says
April 7, 2015 at 6:15 amThanks lovely x
jeanette says
December 12, 2015 at 9:41 am” Teenage boys are funny humans, they love but they also leave for a while” – beautifully said.
Thanks again Jeni for sharing yourself (and your family) with us. Your experiences of teenage boy-hood and disappearing jell with ours. My elsest lad (17 and quite introverted) is beginning to re engage in moments. Now my youngest has turned 13 and the cycle is beginning again. Except our boys disappear physically into the mire of their rooms as well! Very different than their 15 yearold sister, and only partially explained by temperament.