For like fifteen seconds I had nipples. You know the type that sit proud and you can see their form through a t shirt. I’d look down and see those little puppies standing erect and I was bloody proud. I felt all kinds of girly, and womanly…AND sexy!
Ok, I had the surgery just over three months ago so I had those new nips for a few months, but now they’re gone!
I needed to get the areola part re tattooed, yup I’ve got ink but it’s nothing fancy or tough or poetic. It’s tattooed nipples! A roundish circle of colour added to my man made boobs.
The original ink didn’t take too well and turned out a bit patchy so a week ago my surgeon did his thing ‘again’ and fired up the tattoo machine. After forty five minutes in surgery I was inked, patched up and sent home.
Today was the big reveal day. Off came the dressings and whoa nelly, that’s a lot of bloody bruising! I’m a kaleidoscope of yellow and purple, who knew tats were so brutal?!
Well this time around the colour has taken…taken my freakin ‘nubs’. Not such a sexy word but that’s the word the surgeons use for that erect part of your nipple. Nubs! Well, they’re gone! I freaked out and cried like a girl. I mean WTF?! Why did I bother to go under the knife if the nubs were that bloody fragile they would disappear into thin air so quickly.
I felt like my ‘womanly substance’ had left me, again. Boobs, no boobs, new Foobs, then implants and nipples…then, no nubs! Fark! Really? Come on, cut me a break!
I couldn’t believe that the tears fell, actually at first I was just sobbing. You know that tearless silent sob where no noise comes out and your while body is wracked with convulsions then all of a sudden you catch your breath and the ugliest cry comes out. Yup, I did the ugly cry!
They’re ‘nubs’, I couldn’t believe I was crying over this! I hadn’t been told I was dying, I felt stupid and selfish but, what the actual fuck? I’d worked hard and gone through so much shit to get those ‘nubs’ and now they were bloody gone!
Here’s the best bit…my surgeon didn’t seem too surprised. Turns out nubs are pretty temporary and oh well, I could try pulling and rolling the skin (which is still scabby from the tats) but pretty much this is what I’ll be left with.
Look I’ll get over it. I’ll totally move on but right now it feels shit and unfair.
Love your nubs ladies! You don’t know what you’re missing til it’s gone.