Do you find yourself feeling overwhelmed? It’s a strange feeling that sometimes gets mixed up with anxiety and depression…I guess they are all on the same spectrum. Before cancer I got overwhelmed, anxious and at times depressed, and right before I was diagnosed I was in the grip of all this and had a breakdown.
I was on a work treadmill, taking on too much, not asking for help at the right times, taking things too personally (like work) and losing sight of what was truly important.
Working full time can do that to us, especially if we have children thrown into the mix. Being a wife and parent means that more of me has to be ‘stretched’ and sometimes taking on too much means something (or someone) has to give.
What I learned was that we choose.
We choose what we take on, we choose who we say ‘yes’ too, we choose who we say ‘no’ to and we choose what gives.
No one holds a gun to our head and ‘forces’ us to take on too much. It’s something we do to ourselves.
We are allowed to give ourselves permission to slow down, say no, take time out and generally look after ourselves better…physically, mentally and spiritually .
What I’ve also learned is that we can have it all but just not ‘all at once’. Some things take time, some things you need to wait for…and that’s ok.
When we buy into the comparison game and start feeling like we need to keep up with others then we put pressure on ourselves. Mostly unnecessary pressure.
I’ve been a stay at home mum, a full time working mum and a part time working mum, some of these roles I did at the wrong ‘stage’ of my life. I wasn’t considering my ‘stage’ of life and sometimes took on far too much and it didn’t always end pretty.
These days I work part time for myself and volunteer regularly. Sure I miss my full time wage (who wouldn’t) but I get to choose.
I chose ‘this’ for this stage of my life and health, at times I choose to take on more and when I need to I pull back. I wish I’d learned to live this way a long time ago.
Sometimes things get done…not perfectly done but done all the same and I’m totally cool with that. Set your own standards, set the bar where it will fit in with where you at and know that you can change at any time.
Life is short, children grow quickly, relationships are important. Money comes and goes, without those you love by your side, a sane mind and a peaceful heart money means nothing.
Trust me, in your final hours you won’t be thinking about flashy cars, bigger homes or your work…you will be thinking about your loved ones and wanting more time…time to do all the things that you missed because you were too busy or too stretched doing things that just didn’t serve you.
I hope you choose to be kinder to yourselves.
Til next time,
If you are overwhelmed then reach out to a friend, mentor or a centre like LIFELINE