Do you find yourself feeling overwhelmed? It’s a strange feeling that sometimes gets mixed up with anxiety and depression…I guess they are all on the same spectrum. Before cancer I got overwhelmed, anxious and at times depressed, and right before I was diagnosed I was in the grip of all this and had a breakdown.
I was on a work treadmill, taking on too much, not asking for help at the right times, taking things too personally (like work) and losing sight of what was truly important.
Working full time can do that to us, especially if we have children thrown into the mix. Being a wife and parent means that more of me has to be ‘stretched’ and sometimes taking on too much means something (or someone) has to give.
What I learned was that we choose.
We choose what we take on, we choose who we say ‘yes’ too, we choose who we say ‘no’ to and we choose what gives.
No one holds a gun to our head and ‘forces’ us to take on too much. It’s something we do to ourselves.
We are allowed to give ourselves permission to slow down, say no, take time out and generally look after ourselves better…physically, mentally and spiritually .
What I’ve also learned is that we can have it all but just not ‘all at once’. Some things take time, some things you need to wait for…and that’s ok.
When we buy into the comparison game and start feeling like we need to keep up with others then we put pressure on ourselves. Mostly unnecessary pressure.
I’ve been a stay at home mum, a full time working mum and a part time working mum, some of these roles I did at the wrong ‘stage’ of my life. I wasn’t considering my ‘stage’ of life and sometimes took on far too much and it didn’t always end pretty.
These days I work part time for myself and volunteer regularly. Sure I miss my full time wage (who wouldn’t) but I get to choose.
I chose ‘this’ for this stage of my life and health, at times I choose to take on more and when I need to I pull back. I wish I’d learned to live this way a long time ago.
Sometimes things get done…not perfectly done but done all the same and I’m totally cool with that. Set your own standards, set the bar where it will fit in with where you at and know that you can change at any time.
Life is short, children grow quickly, relationships are important. Money comes and goes, without those you love by your side, a sane mind and a peaceful heart money means nothing.
Trust me, in your final hours you won’t be thinking about flashy cars, bigger homes or your work…you will be thinking about your loved ones and wanting more time…time to do all the things that you missed because you were too busy or too stretched doing things that just didn’t serve you.
I hope you choose to be kinder to yourselves.
Til next time,
Jen x
If you are overwhelmed then reach out to a friend, mentor or a centre like LIFELINE
Raychael aka Mystery Case says
May 15, 2015 at 4:42 pmGreat post! I had to hit rock bottom with my health to learn how to say NO and mean it. I’m naturally someone that likes to be busy but it reached the point where I was struggling to keep up. I’m feeling like I need some time out at the moment and will probably look to schedule a social media free weekend starting soon.
Jenni says
May 15, 2015 at 6:49 pmI’m with you Raychael, some times we just need to unplug xx
Maggie obst says
May 15, 2015 at 4:51 pmVery true, to find your inner self is such a delight. We all need a purpose that will balance our lives. Jen you are such a brilliant Mentor. Have a good weekend and a weeks to followxxxx
Jenni says
May 15, 2015 at 6:50 pmOh that’s so lovely Maggie. Here’s to a great weekend all round xx
Lisa mckenzie says
May 15, 2015 at 4:56 pmGreat post Jenni so true ,I’ve learnt to say no for my health and it does help xx
Jenni says
May 15, 2015 at 6:51 pmIt sure does Lisa, that’s fab you are on the right page x
Sarah says
May 15, 2015 at 5:32 pmThanks Jenni! I needed to hear this today… ❤️
Jenni says
May 15, 2015 at 6:52 pmYou’re welcome Sarah, I’m pleased it helped xx
merilyn says
May 15, 2015 at 6:41 pmthankyou jen! this is a good post! … it’s good to be reminded of these things!
I do listen to my inner self
and don’t over do it these days!
luckily I don’t have to commit to too much,
so I can do my creative work! … I like to kissweetheart!
take care! love m:)X
Jenni says
May 15, 2015 at 6:53 pmSounds like you are looking after yourself perfectly
bluetulips says
May 15, 2015 at 6:43 pmEverything you have written is so true. I have seen friends have some healths issues which have been a huge wake up call for them. I too have had my own “reality check” and now I choose not to put pressure on myself. Life is definitely too short so we have to look after ourselves and not worry about what other people think or say. Have a great weekend Jenni
Jenni says
May 15, 2015 at 6:54 pmIt’s a lesson I learned the hard way but pleased I learned it xx
Fleur says
May 15, 2015 at 9:08 pmBeautiful words…and so true. It’s a funny thing when people get sick and stare into the future….it’s sometimes like a slap in the face. Material things loose their lustre. Family and beautiful friends become so valuable. Yes I have learnt to say no….but I have also learnt to say yes…yes I need help…..and I don’t feel guilty for asking.
Jenni says
May 16, 2015 at 9:33 pmFleur bravo for asking for help when needed…such an important lesson x
Sammie @ The Annoyed Thyroid says
May 15, 2015 at 10:14 pmYou nailed it. These days I like to collect moments not things. Never under estimate the importance of being kind to yourself.
Jenni says
May 16, 2015 at 9:34 pmNever Sammie x
Ann says
May 15, 2015 at 10:28 pmwhat a fabulous post Jenni..so true, but I must admit, I still have a problem saying “no”, especially when “guilted” {if that is a word} into doing something by others..I need to get stronger in that department.
I have had the last 10 1/2 months off work due to health problems, {hoping to get back one day} and my outlook on many things have changed..most for the better.. <3 xx
Jenni says
May 16, 2015 at 9:35 pmIsn’t it amazing how so much clarity can come from awful situations. I hope you’re health is improving x
Kathryn says
May 16, 2015 at 5:14 amThis is a great post Jen. I struggle with anxiety, for years I thought it was depression, even GPs said it was, but then my new GP finally said no, it’s anxiety. I think I have been this way since my teens to be honest. Now at 54, I kind of have it under control. OCD also comes calling, which drives me nuts at times. I do take medication, just a tiny 10mg but it makes a massive difference. I get overwhelmed at work, I get excited over projects and put my hand up only to then kick myself for opening my big mouth. I work 4 days a week, sometimes 5.. Have my granddaughter nearly every Sunday, but I love her company. So really I am as busy now as when my kids were little. But I find it hard to sit around and do nothing. I also go and clean my daughters house sometimes, I find cleaning relaxing. Haha I do sound nuts! You seem to have a good balance in your life. especially with your boys being teenagers! Kathryn x
Jenni says
May 16, 2015 at 9:36 pmAt least you see your strengths and weaknesses…sounds like you have it worked out. Enjoy your grand daughter (that’s precious time there)
Bec @ Styled by Bec says
May 16, 2015 at 10:33 amThanks Jenni for this reminder. I needed to read that right now. I’m in the thick of mithering little children and it is so draining and I have been overwhelmed because I’ve been trying to work on getting some of my pursuits to be profitable to bring in an income to help with expenses but I am feeling like I’m treading but can’t keep my head above water. I don’t want a tragedy to stop me in my tracks to tell me to stop. This post will be a catalyst for change. Thank you. Xx
Jenni says
May 16, 2015 at 9:37 pmBec, I’m so pleased this post resonated with you. When the timing is right…the time will be right x
Sonia Life Love Hiccups says
May 18, 2015 at 9:12 pmOh Jenni -” No one holds a gun to our head and ‘forces’ us to take on too much. It’s something we do to ourselves.” You are so right. SO right. I am making it a priority to be kinder to myself and your posts is all the encouragement I need to keep working on it. Thank you xx
Jenni says
May 18, 2015 at 10:46 pmSo awesome Sonia…music to my heart x
Maxabella says
May 19, 2015 at 8:44 pmMy dad always said to me, “you can’t necessarily choose what happens to you, but you can decide what to do about it.” Words to live by. x
Jenni says
May 19, 2015 at 10:19 pmAbsolutely Bron…wise Dad words x